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Saturday 6 February 2016

Broken promises I never made.


One month down.
I am Knackered, and yes, I think it does deserve a capital K!
Last night, despite my efforts, Lady Sleep sank her claws into my soul and dragged me under. (I was in bed by 8pm. Could not keep my eyes open.)
Who cares?
Well I had intended to go to an amazing open mic poetry night at the Black Swan  http://www.blackswanyork.com/  but I didn't.  But that is not my first broken promise.
Work got me!
Drained and disconbobbulated.
Despondent and depleted.

And not just me, everyone for at least two weeks wondered what on earth was happening. All staff became a cost, not a person. Just a number on a sheet, in a column somewhere, that some bean counter was invited to manipulate in order to save money for shareholders dividends. Someone who had no idea how many humans it took to make and serve a cup of coffee, or prepare a sandwich, or order produce and take care of it. For him (or her I add because there is no difference in stupidity or lack on common sense in the sexes) it was just a matter of money = time . Less time = less cost to the business.
Well I say to that person who manipulated a computer model for a fairies promise of profit, less cost = closed, and reduced opening hours = less money = more costs = no staff!
Thank you for stressing us all out!

Thank you for letting me get that off my chest!
(Yes there is a poem in there somewhere but I am back to waiting when I get home, just waiting unable to get going with anything fun, or creative that isn't work!)
And that is what I hate.
I am not only full of nothing from work, I am full of worry for my friends whom I work with, and I feel their stress too. This is just the way I am built. I don't always pick up on it, but when I do, it plays on my mind and I just want to cry and eat chocolate (or drink beer!)

OK no more. It's over. It's done. A more practical soul has decided that although staff are a cost, they are a necessary one and needed to keep making the money they so desire.

Stop it Joanne. Now!

Positive?
Yes, there are positives.
I have been writing, posting more photos on facebook with half poems or prose. And I am trying to keep up with just one story. Thinking, long-hand, typing and some editing all on one tale. It isn't the one I decided on, but I shall keep going, and remembering. There is a lot going on in my head which is not down on paper yet. But it will be!

February is a busy month, And not just because it is the shortest.
Open mics, poetry slams, creative witting, and Chinese new year, along this pancake day! (Why don't I eat pancakes more than once a year?)
That is a lot to look forward to!

And getting this grumble written down is good. I might not be blogging the most creative things at the moment, but its a record, and who knows what weird characterisation my brain will invent when I reread it in a different frame of mind!

Thank you for putting up with my shit!
xxx