I'm a fucking thieving bastard,

I steal stuff for me!

You wont know what I've taken,

'Cause it won't be there to see.

I'm a fucking thieving bastard,

And I take from the tills.

The money I have stashed away,

The amount would make you ill.

I'm a fucking thieving bastard,

And I have many excuses.

For the tills being incorrect

to catch out all you losers!

You knew I only gave wrong change out

'Cause I didn't key it in

And if you looked at my voids

There's no corrects to check them with.

But sometimes when I'm really bored

I'll just declare the wrong amount.

Then I'll smile sweetly, deny it all

And pretend that I did nowt.

I'm a fucking thieving bastard,

And I'll arse you all about.

Then I'll go home with your cash in my pocket

And you can't catch me out.

21/8/10